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What brought you to Buddhist practice?
Ever since I was a teen-ager, I knew wanted to do some kind of
ministry. I was brought up as a Protestant. In college, I majored in
Religious Studies. It seemed the more I studied Christianity, the less I
understood. I felt discouraged and terrified. As part of the
curriculum, I was required to take a course in non-Western religions.
When I read about Buddhism, I had an “Ah-ha!” moment. I felt like I had found my home. I pursued
my Buddhism intellectually, doing an independent studies course in the
Theravada traditions.
When I finished college, I went to Japan to teach English and I spent
time at The International Zen Center of Japan which at that time was
near Hiroshima, but now no longer is in existence. They were open
to lay people and international practitioners. There I had a taste of
serious practice—I’ve not experienced as strict discipline since
then, actually. The Zendo had no heat, the forms were strict but the
teacher was very kind and helpful. I found that I was comfortable
with temple life: the routine, the simplicity, the community, and, of
course, practice.
I was primarily interested in Buddhism’s technical aspects of practice
and investigation as a means to realize the ideals that all the major
religious traditions extol. For example, Jesus says love your enemies.
OK, but how do you do that? Buddhism gives us the tools of
practice, tools which are transformative, through which I was able to
experience those ideals I had aspired to intellectually but never
understood how to embody: compassion and peace. I also loved the
logic of Buddhism as demonstrated by the Buddha’s often repeated
phrase “Ehi Passika”, which means “come and see for yourself.”
Even when he was dying and the Bhikkhus were
standing around him weeping and saying, “But how can we live without
you? You have to stay and show us.” The Buddha said,
“No, you have to find out for yourself.”
In Buddhism you don’t have to try to believe something. If it’s
worth believing, you’ll know it.
After I left Japan, I lived in Thailand and practiced in several
monasteries. One was the Garden of Liberation, Bhikkhu
Buddhadasa’s monastery in southern Thailand, where I was doing an
independent study on the Thai Sangha’s response to modernization. I
visited many temples and spent time with monks who were involved in
social action efforts: saving orphans, helping girls get out of
prostitution, teaching farmers practice sustainable agriculture, etc.
I was looking into how religion manifests in the world. This has
always been a measuring stick I’ve used to determine the genuineness
of a faith: : How useful is your faith in your life? This is another
reason that Buddhism fits me so well.
When I came back from Asia in 1995, I practiced with the Diamond Sangha
in Tucson, AZ for two years as I worked as a preschool teacher and
volunteered with hospice. Eventually, I found Naropa University in
Boulder, CO and embarked on their Engaged Buddhism Master’s Program,
which involved pastoral care and social action. The contemplative
focus of the Naropa education was probably more beneficial to my
pastoral development than any standard academic training could have
been. It also made me feel like I had a jump on CPE because CPE
stresses similar aspects such as knowing your mind, body, and spirit and
how you affect others etc. I can’t say enough about my
experience at Naropa. I miss it.
What was your chaplaincy training?
I have five units of CPE. Here’s how it happened. In association
with my studies at Naropa, I took one unit of CPE in a Denver hospital.
I had never spent time in a hospital and it was very hard to see the
suffering. My personal challenge was when patients and their
families were continually asking me, “What’s your religion?”
Answering Buddhism didn’t go over too well. It wasn’t acceptable to
be a Buddhist, so initially I said I was Protestant, since I had been raised in that tradition. But after a
while, saying that became too uncomfortable, so I said I was an
Interfaith chaplain. People really wanted me to be Christian, and I had
real difficulty in being accepted as a chaplain.
Where I now live in New England, people are much more Live and Let Live
and probably assume I am Catholic anyway. On the rare occasions when
patients or family members insist that I talk about my faith, I say,
“Well, how about if I talk to you about what the Buddha taught about
suffering and death?” This way we don’t get caught up in a
theological didactic and I can skillfully address the issue at
hand.
When I graduated from Naropa, I did a one year residency and completed
four CPE units in Fall River, Massachusetts at St. Anne’s
Hospital. All the resident chaplains were either Catholic nuns or
priests; I was not only the non-Christian in the group, but also the
only non-celibate. It was fantastic. They were such a mature group.
At first it was hard, I was this weird religion and also a vegetarian.
They kept harping on how different I was. I finally told them,
“I’m not choosing this way just to be different, you know, I’m not
trying to prove a point. We can’t help who we are. Just
because I eat different food, and pray in a different way, doesn’t
mean I’m really different from you. Please respect my beliefs, just as
I respect yours.” At the end of the year, one of the priests
told me that a friend of his gave him feedback that my friend kept
saying to him, my Buddhist friend says this, and my Buddhist friend says
that. It was a very difficult and exciting time and I learned a lot
about Catholicism which has helped in work since then. About 80%
of Rhode Islanders are at least nominally Roman Catholic.
What led you to want to offer spiritual care to others?
Ever since I can remember, everyone would always come to me, I guess
because I seemed so solid, down to earth, easy to talk to and strong.
The quality of strength and trustworthiness is my gift, and it compels
me to do this work. I’m not a “wounded healer,” not because I
don’t know what it’s like to be hurt. We all have suffering,
but I haven’t had any great loss in my life. I didn’t have a
difficult childhood that led me to this. People have always just
naturally assumed that I knew what was happening, that my shoulders were
big enough to lean on, so I think I feel like I owe this. I think it’s
what I’m supposed to do; payback for my good karma.
And I didn’t want to become a therapist, because I knew very early on
that whatever I did had to include God, the spiritual aspects of life.
Nowadays the field of psychotherapy can include spirituality, but at the
time I was looking, there was no way to include my faith as part of my
care giving, so I knew I had to do it pastorally.
I would still not want to be a therapist because I thrive on the BIG
questions of life and death and have a hard time having patience
listening to concerns about other comparatively minor issues.
Did you consider being a minister?
When I was a Protestant high school student, yes. As a Buddhist,
no. Fortunately, when I came back from Asia and was living in Arizona, a
friend of mine suggested that I do hospice volunteer work. Right
away I loved the work, and the staff encouraged me pursue service in
hospice. The work felt natural to me, knowing how to be in the
presence of suffering and death. My meditation practice was so
valuable.
Where have you worked as a chaplain? Would you share some
of your experiences?
After completing my CPE residency in Fall River, MA, I looked for work
as a hospice chaplain. Fortunately there was a job opening as a
hospice chaplain in Rhode Island. Amazingly enough they were
looking for a non-Christian chaplain here at Home and Hospice Care of
Rhode Island. Our CEO really wants to us to be an interfaith
organization. I’m still working here 5 1/2 years later.
Let me think about a story to share. We had a woman who was
Jewish; she had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. If you are
familiar with this disease, it often results in significant personality
change; people become anxious and very controlling due to being short of
breath. She was a very proactive intelligent woman. She
wanted some relief from her situation, so she agreed to learn meditation; she really wanted to do
it. She was very determined. We practiced together whenever I
visited her; I believe she even practiced on her own.
Whenever I was with her, I’d say, Take a snapshot of your life right
this moment: What is the color? What does the light look like? Notice
your life now. Pay attention, pay attention. When she started to
actively die, she said, “This is it. I’m dying. This is what’s
happening.” She comforted her family greatly in her final hours.
She knew that her practice would sustain her at the end of her life.
I really learned from her: first that meditation works. Second,
people have to want to do it. You can’t make it happen. Lots of
the people I have seen thought it would be a good idea but didn’t
follow through. If someone wants to do it, it can really work for them
As a hospice chaplain, I can hold people in the light of compassion, but
that’s about all I can do. But if they are ready—Fabulous.
After she died, her husband gave me a trinket of hers which is on my
altar. It helps me remember when things are difficult, that if
meditation helps someone at the time of death, it must be worthwhile.
Also, there are days of work where I wonder if my service matters and I
remember her and her family’s gratitude when I look at that gift on my
altar.
Where are you in the certification process?
Don’t get me started. It is such a frustrating process. I
sent in my application three years ago and after a nearly a year, they
got back to me saying I was short just 4.8 graduate credits from the 72
required by APC. (So really, keep track of every little seminar you go
to, every in-service, every CEU. You can use all those hours, though it
takes 100 hours of Continuing Education Units (CEUs) to equal one
graduate credit.)
The application is active for three years. So in order to get these
units, I had to take two more courses, while I was working full time.
When I asked what kind of courses they thought I needed, the APC people
said they couldn’t advise me, that they’d have to look at my
application when it was complete. They said they couldn’t guarantee
that they’d accept the courses I took.
It took them a year to respond to my initial application, and they are
still holding it now, three years later. I applied in the Fall of
2004, and they didn’t look at it again until Jan 2006. In January,
they said the file is complete. The Regional Convener said he was
setting up the Certification Committee and it was supposed to be next
Friday, March 17. But then another letter had to arrive from APC
that the Regional Convener had to sign and send back to them before they
would release my application to him. Once he receives it, the
Committee’s Presenter has to look at the application and write a
synopsis of it for the Committee. The Convener coordinates the committee
of other chaplains. It’s all volunteer work for them so they try
to get local people. Three weeks ago, they told me I needed to submit
two more verbatims, because they need to be from my current employment,
and my application is three years old now. It is very frustrating
because, at the time, I was about to go for wrist surgery and wouldn’t
be able to type well for several weeks. I could have written one a
long time ago if I had known. I don’t have a new date yet for the
committee.
The Certification Committee consists of four or five people. The APC
contact person told me I should know the 20 competencies very well, and
that it was up to me to make sure that those competencies are addressed
in the meeting. If they aren’t addressed, then I might not get
certified. They told me if the Committee recommends me for
certification, I’ll pass. The Committee meeting is one
hour and no cheat sheets. I don’t know how I can cover all 20
competencies in one hour, plus whatever else they might ask me.
I hope it’s worth my while. I am moving to Maine soon, my husband has
a good job there. I believe the certification should help me in my
job search. I would like to continue to do hospice chaplaincy, but
I’m
open to working in a hospital, too. I understand that they have a very
good support for veterans in Maine, a very active VA.
JAHCO may soon require certification to work as a hospice and hospital
chaplain. Plus I think it is good having a professional
organization behind you. The certification lets people know I’m
a professional. I’m not just myself or my church. I’m not
ordained yet; I’m a Dharma Teacher-in-training in the Kwan Um School
of Zen. When I become a full Dharma Teacher, I will be considered
ordained in my tradition. I understand that Joan Halifax Roshi at
Upaya in Santa Fe ordains people into the Peacemaker Order.
Is there anything else you’d like to say before we finish,
Jennifer?
Do not neglect practice or sangha. These are very important to
sustain a spiritual caregiver. Always practice. And don’t
give up. If this path is calling you and others are encouraging
you, do not give up. If it is meant to happen, it will happen.
Thank you for this opportunity to share with others. May the
Dharma continue to flourish in us and through us all, and may all beings
have peace.
CERTIFICATION
COMMITTEE EXPERIENCE
Update May
4, 2006
Jennifer
Mancini
My
committee met on Friday April 21, 2006 at Maine Medical Center in
Portland, ME. I had envisioned the worst-case scenario and was
relieved to see that we would be sitting in a circle (as opposed to a
line of people facing me). My committee consisted of three men and
two women. One of the ladies was also a hospice chaplain.
The committee is supposed to reflect your discipline as well as
possible. There are no other Buddhist chaplains in Maine so all my
committee members were Christian. They were affable and I felt
comfortable in their presence.
They asked questions to help clarify points from my spiritual
autobiography, verbatims, and my essay on the competencies.
Pastoral identity and function seemed to be key points. Examples
of questions are as follows: What is your method of spiritual
assessment? How do you assert pastoral authority? How does
working with the dying affect you emotionally/spiritually? How
would you minister to people of different faiths or people who profess
no faith? What do your interfaith memorial services look like? How
has your family of origin affected your ministry positively and/or
negatively? What are your greatest challenges for future growth?
Fortunately, I had had a practice run with my fellow chaplains at my
hospice in the weeks before my official committee. My manager has
sat on certification committees before and so was very helpful. I
would suggest that type of preparation for anyone.
As you may recall, I had been told that I would be responsible to make
sure that all the competencies were discussed in the committee
regardless of whether they brought them up. As I got closer to my
date, that point was causing me too much anxiety. It didn’t make
sense that I should be tested on my ability to memorize the competencies
so I called APC’s headquarters to clarify this. I was told that
it was the committee’s responsibility to ascertain what needed to be
brought up at our meeting. If a competency had been sufficiently
addressed in my essay, it was not necessary to be discussed. The
committee was to make that judgment and I was only to answer whatever
questions were put to me as thoroughly as possible. APC called my
committee’s convener in Maine to confirm that this was the correct
procedure. I was relieved but, of course, had some concern that
there might be backlash from that phone call. Fortunately, this
was not the case.
At the end of my one-hour meeting, I was asked to step out for a maximum
of thirty minutes. I had to wait for 29. They invited me
back in, informed me that they would be recommending me for
certification, and then gave me some feedback. They have to cite
areas for growth and write it up for APC to consider. Actual
certification does not become official until APC convenes at the
conference in May and they consider the committee’s recommendation.
Barring any major concerns (ie. applicant hasn’t paid their dues to
APC), I should receive their seal of approval. However, I won’t
receive my plaque until NEXT May at the next annual APC conference.
After waiting so long, it all feels so anticlimactic. My friends
and family have forgotten all the work I’ve put into this process and
the whole “congratulations” feeling is pretty weak. I am happy
to finally have the certification but it’s more of a relief than a
sense of accomplishment at this point. I wish I had been told
earlier that my M.Div. equivalency wasn’t acceptable so that I
could’ve taken my courses earlier. I wish APC would’ve advised
me on whether certain more convenient courses would’ve been acceptable
because, in my case, taking theology courses while working full time
here in southern RI ended up being very time and money consuming.
It seems that this profession is in its infancy and I hope that more
buddhadharma practitioners become involved so that it grows in its
interfaith spirit and in wisdom and compassion.
Thank
you!
Jennifer
Mancini
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